Quote:
Originally Posted by ifst5
But if we look at this more closely, having children doesn't necessarily mean you won't be lonely later on in life. You've only got to look at the amount of elderly people in retirement homes who have families and yet are rarely if ever visited and might go months if not years without a single phone call.
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Very true. I don't plan on taking care of my mom forever, mostly because she acts like me helping her prolong her life is the worst thing I could ever do to her. I've had big gaps in my life without her (her choice), & so I know it won't be hard to go back to that when she's had enough of living with me. The stress of it has not been good for me, and it's only been a year that she has been living with me (this time, because she has lived with me before).
I also know my brother is a complete jerk, & he's definitely not going to take care of
anyone. Honestly, though, he's not the kind of person that you would want to take care of you. Ironically,
his son already said that
he would not be taking care of his dad (my brother) when he gets older, for the same reason--my brother's a jerk!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ifst5
Because parenting doesn't stop - it goes beyond a certain age or situation. Kids really are for life. I sympathize with your uncertainty but i suppose it comes down to what you feel you're most willing to risk - a childless future or children that you may well secretly regret and/or a future that could still end up different from the one you expected children would give you.
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I wish my mother understood that. She resents that her kids care about her & want her to be happy & healthy. She's told us repeatedly that her job was just to get us to 18 & then drop out of our lives. She keeps talking about how she wishes she had her own little car & her own little place where everyone would just leave her the **** alone. I wish I was kidding. But she's dead serious.
I suspect that she does (not so secretly) regret having children, or at least not having made different decisions in her life. I know she's had a very tough life, but I don't appreciate her making me feel like it's my fault she's unhappy all the time when all I've done throughout my life is support her & try to look out for her, even when I was living across the country.
Ugh. Rant off. Sorry, this has just been weighing on me a lot recently.