Your T appears to have decided that her career is best served by this hospital job. She may have been totally serious back when she said she would not be the one to end the therapeutic relationship. This may have been a difficult decision for her to make.

From your point of view, yes it looks like yet another person letting you down and moving on, when they said they never would. Of course it hurts a ton (((( celtic )))). It's not realistic to expect anyone would jump for joy at losing a T. However, life isn't always a confirmation of our worst fears - it just tends to look that way based on past experiences that genuinely hurt.

Okay so you cut, you expressed this pain and fear through an old method you're trying to get past. This is a slip up due to stress, it doesn't mean you are no longer an inspiration or have utterly failed people. You're human, you've had a big disappointment, and you're doing your best. You can and will survive this. Give yourself time to grieve a loss (which this is) and apply all she has taught you so far.