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Originally Posted by birdpumpkin
I've not been properly diagnosed with PTSD but would say I definitely have it and have been trying to work on dealing with it. The worst symptom for me is the anxiety, so I've been digging into it and am discovering I have some abandonment issues, and the worst of my anxiety seems to be caused from separation anxiety. I was just wondering if anyone here has dealt with that with their PTSD. I suppose my losses from the past have been kind of buried, and after losing everything to our fire, I seem to have developed a bad separation anxiety, as if I'm afraid of losing my husband and son as well - or that they'll leave and never return (the abandonment thing coming into play). It's also caused me to severely fear being left on my own to fend for myself one day. It terrifies me. I never thought of it at all before our fire, nor did I worry so much when my husband went away. Actually, I relished being alone, looked forward to my son returning to school, and felt when my husband had to go back out, it was more time for me to read or whatever. Now it's not like that for me at all. My anxiety goes sky-high whenever my husband gets called to work after hours or on weekends - the abandonment gets tied in there with the separation because the longer he's away I start wondering if he'll return. My rational mind knows he will - he always did in the past, but still - that's where my mind goes. Also the longer he's away, the worse my anxiety gets. The same thing happens with my son when he goes somewhere with my parents. My dad took him fishing the other day, and I was almost full-on panic because he said he didn't know when they'd be back. My rational mind knows my dad will return him, but my PTSD/abandoned person starts to thinks "but what if..." As long as I'm given a time of return, I'm fine. I'm okay with my son at school. I know he'll be back 4:05. And during the day while my husband works he should be back the usual time. Has anyone else had to deal with this or anything similar after their trauma??
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I have had a lot of separation anxiety with my PTSD. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. I know a lot of it comes from my parent's divorce and my dad leaving with I was 5, but like you, my family and I lost our home, too. The difference being we lost ours in the financial crisis in 2008. I was especially sad to read about your cats (in a different post) because at the time I had a dog, 2 cats, a hedgehog, and a blue-tongued skink (lizard) who were my babies and I had to give them all up. The dog I had to have put down because she had developed cancer and we had no money to have her treated.
Finally in 2010, my husband found work again, and we have been slowly putting our lives back together since then. I don't know if I will ever be able to have any more pets because of the trauma of losing them all at once like that. The first time my husband was late coming home from work at his new job, I had a full blown panic attack that scared my son so badly he called 911. The docs at the ER looked at me like I was nuts.
They gave me a little blue pill and sent me home. At the time, because my PTSD was a pre-existing condition, I couldn't follow their recommendation to see a psychiatrist for several months. I actually got used to breathing into a paper bag every time I imagined someone I love being in some horrible accident or some other catastrophe. I am in treatment now with an awesome therapist and psychiatrist now, so it is much better, but I still get nervous when hubby comes home a few minutes late. At least now, if he's running late, he calls me as soon as he gets outside the plant (his phone doesn't work inside).
