I still don't know for sure if I belong on this board but until I get a definite diagnosis I am going to stick around. I'm just wondering if anyone else gets to the point that they feel almost totally out of control and like your surroundings aren't real?

I don't know why I feel so crazy, normally when I get a good amount of sleep I feel clear headed. But I'm shaking like crazy. A part of my brain is screaming at me that my husband is cheating, while a tiny voice of reason that says he isn't like that is getting suffocated. I feel like pulling my hair out and drinking till I'm numb

My mom is out of town for a couple weeks. I feel like I'm reliant on her to keep me grounded. My daughter is starting with my inlaws for a week. I feel bad about sending her off but I just don't think I can handle being a mom without my mom here to help. I hate myself for being such a pathetic wife and mother. I've been somewhat alienating myself from my husband because I just can't shake the belief that he's straying. I want to ask but I know that I will just seem crazy and possibly hurt or relationship more. I don't know. I feel very alone.

I made an appointment with one if my former therapists and hopefully she will get me set up with someone that can help with my meds and a diagnosis. I don't know what I'm accomplishing by typing this. I guess just hoping someone can help talk me out of the crazy thoughts I'm having