I've been with my boyfriend for a year; he has bipolar & BPD. I second this post & suggest you seriously think about this. I have been guilty before of not giving my boyfriend enough credit; I stuff my frustration for far too long, thinking that he won't respond well to me being open about it. But every time I finally (as kindly and respectfully as possible, though usually with lots of emotion) talk to him about it, we have a helpful conversation, and we end up feeling closer to each other. I have a therapist that I can talk to about all this, but nothing helps release the pressure like talking directly to my boyfriend about these things.

But this is all individual. My boyfriend is generally quite "high-functioning," and I do not consider myself his caregiver. I incline very easily to caretaking, so I have to be cautious not to get too enmeshed in someone else, and not to neglect myself. You might think about that, too, as I'm afraid that it sounds like you might be heading for burnout.