Thnx Travelinglady, I might post over there. I've done daily grief sessions with guidance from my T a while back, yes as if I've lost the most important person in my life. But I don't get emotional about it anymore. That part seems to be over but maybe it's not. The hardest part for me is I'll wake having these strange abstract conversations with her that only lead to disappointment, rejection, then pulling me back in, giving me hope that she is the person I knew, then lying. Rinse/repeat. Uggg that's what was essentially happening to me for several months. They aren't good obsessive thoughts at all, just pain, I want to get as far away as I can from the thought of her. Reason I posted here is that it all seems to stem back to my breakdown and high anxiety, but what if it's multiple things... that would make some sense.

Glok, yes good points. Last visit with my T, she was a bit confused about me so I think a change in her treatment will happen. I've been able to articulate what I'm going through a little better lately as well and I'm overdue for a visit. What would we have to do to reach remission... I believe lowering my anxiety will reveal some of that answer. My T says talk therapy won't work with me until my anxiety is lower so I've been working on that with my P. They communicate well about my case. Meds didn't work so I'm simplifying everything in my life. My family is helping a lot and my work is also being flexible.

Thanks for listening and offering ideas.