I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this! I feel the same and am generally too afraid to disclose. However, I told one friend of many years. I thought I scared her off because she seemed a little uncomfortable. Then, I was in the hospital soon after and she came to visit me. I have another friend who lives out of state that was visiting here that same week. My husband told her I was in the hospital and she came right to visit, no questions asked. I, of course, told her but she still respected me. My other close friend was very close to me and knew something was wrong before I was diagnosed. Needless to say, I have 3 very good friends who I was able to trust and who, for the most part (unless I'm sick--then they tend to baby me), treat me just the same. Anyway, not sure what I am getting at other than there are people who can be trusted and who are genuine, you just have to find them. That said, I generally keep my diagnosis as secret as possible because I, like you, strongly dislike the stigma that nearly always follows disclosure.