would it help at all to have your t sit down and really be open with your h? when i was dealing with SI and SUI, my husband just didn't get it. he didn't feel very supportive, but when i had him sit with my t, it started the process of clicking for him. it's taken a few years, but five years later he is very aware of me and very supportive. when i was ready to kill myself even just a month ago, he asked about the hospital and then just asked that i stay open with my t and follow my t's advice. he wanted to ask for the items for my plan but he didn't because he didn't want to seem controlling and he was so relieved when i gave them to him.

sometimes they just don't know what to do or how to act. it's not intuitive.

but idk your h so i could be way off.