So my best progress has been 100% mental. It seems to be working. I'm wondering if anyone else has input on this approach.

Mental issue I'm battling: My mind gets into strange, abstract, unrealistic and unpleasant conversations with an person I've idealized into an imaginary person. It's easy in my mind to distinguish between the real person and this enigma. This happens mostly when I'm tired. Almost seems like I'm emotionally weaker when I'm tired.

What I do: When I realize I'm obsessing on these thoughts, I divert my attention to something else. Most of the time I'm in bed when this happens, so I get up and do something; I focus on it, the present. Mindful approach. And, I get sleep now. That's been a big help. I wasn't sleeping good at all last year.

Struggles: I've tried a lot of meds (ssri, snri, bi-polar) and have had bad effects from all except Xanax. But now that I've realized that being tired from Xanax makes me more vulnerable to obsessive thoughts.

My therapist and psychiatrist work very well together, and despite head scratching they are getting somewhere. Just realizing the level and affect of anxiety has been a big help. I can feel these symptoms getting weaker.

But right now my interest in how/if this approach is working is along the lines of neural plasticity ideas. Changing thought patterns through exercises. My pathways were all fkd up last year with my meltdown, and I'm trying not to let the new, bad ones establish themselves.

Thoughts? Experiences?