Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
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I had a therapist who finally told me he had NPD . . .
It got so our sessions became gradually about me helping him. He was the first one to explain to me how my "empathy" was an attraction, he told me not to interact with PC because I would end up "giving" too much to others and I needed to focus more on myself.
Reading this article helped me understand how someone with PTSD can get misdiagnosed as narcissistic though. The "need" for empathy and "safety" is similar in therapy too. I had a wonderful mother who loved me, but I can see how without that a child can grow up with NPD challenges.
What I have noticed about people who have narcissistic tendencies nearing being "disordered" is that they get very uncomfortable "empathizing", perhaps they can "imitate" it but they don't really empathize. Very rarely do they give "hugs", it is sometimes even offensive to them. To hug them physically is very different than getting a genuine heartfelt hug from them.
I think that it is important to understand how these individuals develop and for perspective parents to understand that and learn how to keep it from happening. I fear for all the children that grow up in day cares while their mothers have careers and the contact needed is not there for them. I see the difference in these children all the time, sad that the parents "don't".
OE
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Wow, that therapist sounds scary to me, like he wanted to keep all your empathy for himself? But maybe that’s not how it was for you. Did you feel OK with sessions where it got to be about you helping him?
It’s my experience that most people, even therapists, have a hard time empathizing with the reality of the experience of someone “trapped” in – let me say - a “self-absorption” situation. That's one of the main reasons that I posted the link, because it seemed like that particular author, a psychiatrist, did understand.
So it upsets me, for instance, that your concern remains more about how people with NPD can’t empathize with people who don’t have it. My experience is that most therapists couldn’t empathize with me when I tried to get below a surface level.
On the other hand, if your therapist had NPD and hadn’t been able to get past it and was trying to treat people, doesn’t that sound like a problem for the profession and its ability to regulate itself? Or for people WITH the disorders to actually find help?
I was never diagnosed with NPD, as I said, and was more like someone with OCPD before I broke down. Eventually diagnosed with PDNOS and DDNOS. My therapist would have preferred to diagnose “Complex PTSD” but that wasn’t available in the DSM at the time. May still not be, I don’t know.
It’s my view that most of us who have PD’s, or have had them, developed them as a way to cope with underlying unresolved/unresolvable trauma. Without some empathy and understanding about that, somewhere in the society, we are all going to be in deep s*** in my view. But, as someone wrote in another thread, mine seems to be a minority view.