Your father won't live forever and you CAN set boundaries. I am sorry you are afraid of him still and I understand that having a disability makes it harder to separate and feel like his issues are his alone. However, it would be a surprise if he was physically abusive to you. Verbal and emotional yes. Do you have the resources to say STOP. You may not swpeak to me that way or act that way around me. No you should know that I do not practice what i preach. I have severed connections with my now elderly parents but a few years ago I drove all day to see them for an hour and drove home the same noight. I saw a cople of frail, pittiful excuses for humanity who delighted in torturing us. Me especially I think. So, no, I have not done what I am suggesting but I wonder if being closer to supports is worth you finding the skills to tell him to fluff off? Just a thought. By the way, I a sorry for your pain and wish that you had a good pain management specialist to help you.