sending hugs! I think you definitely need to reach out for support - there is help available, and even though it may take a lot of time, that eventually things should start to get a bit better.

I understand exactly how you feel when you say that you have so much but still can't be happy. It's just the depression talking, sometimes it clouds over everything so much that we can't even see the good in the best things in life.

Stay strong, and keep talking to us here if it helps. I also think reaching out to a doctor or a family member about these thoughts and feelings would definitely be a step in the right direction too.