Hi Celtic, please don't feel bad about the SI you had a really triggering experience and sometimes there's only so much you can cope with. You've already been through so much, so just give yourself this one, OK??
You/we know you have it in you to start trying to tackle it again. Sometimes there can be "falls" along the way.
Now as for your T, I'd say that that was a pretty irresponsible promise anyway. Who knows maybe it could have turned out that she hadn't the skills/the right skills to help you.........now someone responsible would admit that and look to finding you someone who had and if she wasn't about to do that if............but in life there are no guarantees things like illness, injury, personal problems, family problems- all on her side/all things out of her control.............could have broken the relationship too, so a promise like that.......irresponsible to say the least, especially when you were feeling so vulnerable.
So let's hope on you getting a better T, hey??
And yes, sometimes people leave- people we hoped/wanted to be in our lives for the longest time, but then again sometimes they don't.
Still if people are important to us then it can be about valuing as much as we can all the really significant/special times/things they give us or we share with them, because those things/those memories will then still be there to hold onto if they go. There will still be something we take with us, and we'll still be better for having known them.
But back to the here and now...........can you try and pull on some of those coping skills that have already got you SO FAR?? I know they may seem so far away now, but they are there.
And the inspiration bit btw, you already know what I think about that, but............you are an inspiration just by being you which comes across so clearly. Inspirations don't have to be perfect (who's perfect anyway!!), they just need to be human, and hurt, pain............a multitude of feelings/emotions come along with being human.
And you're just NOT going to shake MY belief Celtic :
!!!!!!!
Just keep telling us as it is Celtic, we/I WANT to be there for you, whatever!!!

Alison