I see why you may have felt better this afternoon and wanted to avoid inpatient but as you say you are feeling very violent toward yourself and others, and it came back this afternoon. It is up to you whether you feel like you can control yourself on the outside. They can help you feel better faster inpatient because they can up your medicine quicker than they can on the outside. I can see from your recent posts that you are very uncomfortable. You don't have to continue feeling this way. There is help available. But I understand yor hesitance to go inpatient. I always wait until I am basically forced to go. I hope it doesn't come down to that for you.