Last weekend my gf left me because she was fed up with me getting drunk I had been sober 2 days. I was only going to have a few bit I had enough that when I got home she realized I was a but toasted. She started *****ing about our relationship and I told her I didn't want to hear it and she ended up leaving: I told her to because I was tired of hearing from her. So she left for the weekend. Of which I had sexual encounters with other people. I went to the bad and I got more drunk and I hooked up with a guy I met back at my house. We exchanged numbers and had texted over the weekend. I don't personally know him and want nothing to do with him sober. So nothing ongoing. The next days, I had had tried to apologize to my gf so we could get back together but she said she wanted nothing to do with me and made threats. And I wasn't saying what she wanted to hear. And my feelings for her have changed a lot through everything. For one she's so *****y much of the time about anything I do. Trying to imply id be a bad dad. Like she demands what she sees as perfection and I just want to be who I can be rather than whoever she wants me to be. And she has sexually neglected me since almost the very beginning of her getting pregnant. She sleeps too early and is never in the mood. And when she is it's just bad sex. And two months almost putting up with this and it's like for nothing I don't feel she considers how I feel about things and honestly don't know where this is going to go I mean I can't imagine staying with her by next year. I just am with her due to her threats concerning the pregnancy. She's said she would get an abortion if we weren't together over the weekend and so why I've feigned this attempt to fix what i don't think can be fixed. Anyhow, I've never cheated on partner no matter what but mainly because I felt I could walk away at any moment while this time I'm sort of stuck. Last Sunday I dropped by a coworker's house and she ended up giving me oral. She has always had a crush on me. But I could never see myself having any more serious of a relationship. It's just sexual, but I appreciate the sexual attention since I don't get it from my gf and she treats me better overall. We have been friends since I started the job and have grow closer just in a friendly manner. And we know each other from work so this has been ongoing. And I feel more sexually compatible and attracted to her than my current gf now due to the lack of sex in our relationship. I know that I shouldn't have a sexual relationship with her and I have not since she decided to give me a second chance. But I'm left with being miserable emotionally sexually and physically just because I'm not married to her. But, before this whole thing we were good it's like after she got pregnant she has been becoming a different person. I wanted to ride out the storm but it doesn't seem worth it any longer. And I don't like the idea of marriage and I don't feel like it's something I should have to do.