I need to sleep through this. Mind you, there was a severe amount of paternal estrangement during the important years of my life. My proms, my boyfriends, my license, moving to college, moving home, first job, my marriage/wedding day, my first pregnancy, the birth of my oldest, my sports, my grades, my experiences, my friends. Things were at a distance, through these years, in the past ten years. Couple hours here and there, every several months, maybe three to four visits a year. One week spent here, was eye opening, to some loose baggage in my history. Several emails between myself and stepmother was also eye opening. And bonding.
Yes, I made my peace. And in bonding with her, light shed, along with various passive aggressive comments, driving, etc behaviors.
It's complex,all the tapes of past respinning.
Ya know, mom, didn't smile, all those years. That b/w photo,was the same lost in thought look. My new preggers photos were entirely different.
Almost like, by virtue of her seemingly perpetual pondering, out came a deep, brooding thinking daughter.
I'm recalling how troubled he would profess me as being. No, that was just respectful disagreement.
The frayed ends, are getting glued and knotted back together.
His marriage, I'm not sure there's hope. He's got his own work cut out for him.
Knowing his family dynamics, the little ones sob story,may appear oh so comfortable, to him. Pen v. Vial? (Diabetes) Who attacks, physically cops and medical staff? Why is she more deserving of financial handouts?
And doesn't look like he's helping with school shopping, for the boys,as had been the trend for several years...
I need to get the boys settled, in bed, and sleep this off.
I understand my mother, much, much better. Still curious why her own romantic pattern, may never know...