Bad day today. Last night was terrible...went to bed late, slept till 11:30 this morning (could've easily slept longer). All day today I've been alternating between depressed, irritated, and just kinda off. I feel guilty for hurting people, angry at both my parents for not understanding what's going on with me, angry at myself... And then my brother had a meltdown around 4 o'clock because he hates himself and thinks he's a failure. After about an hour my mother just couldn't handle it anymore and left. She came back a while ago and went to bed; she hasn't even spoken to me.

My family is so messed up. Days like this just remind me that cancer really did tear up our lives, and it's too late to fix it. There's too much to fix.