I keep a bunch of utility-type razors in my car and at my desk (at work) along with some medical tape.

Yesterday she asked if I had cut this past week and I honestly answered her no. She asked why (which almost seems strange to me) and I honestly answered her that I did not know....... but I admitted that I often put the razors and tape in my pocket and just walk around with them.

So she said that maybe it is time to get rid of the razors. If you were an alcoholic, you would not walk around with a flask in your pocket.... It seemed like reasonable logic. BUT, a part of me does not want to stop cutting yet. I have some pretty deep-seeded self-hatred. And part of me continues to fantasizes about taking the razor to my throat (in my heart I know I wont, but it is a twisted form of a security blanket).

I guess my question is - how do you know when you are honestly ready to give it up? And how do you not fear turning back to it in a worse (more damaging way)???