I know many of you have heard this story and may be tired of it, and for that I apologize in advance, so please bear with me....

Anyway, I have gone through difficulties in my marriage over the last 7 years, beginning when my H strayed and left me and the kids. He came back, left again (at my request) then came back yet again (mutual). I was more undecided about the emotional reasons all along, but knew we couldn't survive financially or parent our autistic daughter and two other kids effectively without living together.

Through all this I've seem a male pdoc and a female T who have both helped me tremendously. I have written on here multiple times regarding transference for my pdoc, which has been intense at times. Beyond my writing and my thoughts, there has been nothing inappropriate about the relationship between my pdoc and I. In fact, he's been through similar life events and has been quite helpful.

The problem now is the tension appears back with my husband and I. He hates my pdoc and has ever since they met once 6 years ago. He thinks he influences me in a negative way and doesn't like that I talk to him about us. My H also found posts on PC regarding my transference feelings that didn't help - my fault, I know. Still, I tried to explain it was only writing - nothing has ever or will ever happen. Its all in my head and he is my doctor. I do feel he gets me and he and my T are the only people that I talk to in depth about my relationship, as I feel like discussing with family/friends puts my H in a bad light and I don't want to do that to him. So I figure the therapy is best. Problem is, my T is cutting back and I don't think I'll get to see her much, so I may rely on the male (remember, much hated by H) pdoc to talk to. I know he was at one point biased against my husband but in the last year is much more neutral, probably given our living situation. H and I don't have a sex life, which is hard for me to grasp. Its due to 2 things: general lack of connection and severe pain I feel during sex that I've never understood until now and I thnk we can work on it, but he doesn't seem to want to.

I wonder if other people in my situation would stop seeing this male pdoc, perhaps as a way to prove to H that I really care? Would it be the ultimate proof, or am I just making a big deal out of something that H should be able to handle? The issue is that I'm not sure I would pursue treatment, my past has been shaky with consistency. I've been very regularly seeing him and my female T when I can, and have held it together relatively well. At least given the circumstances. Without treatment, I think I'd be worse. Unfortunately, I don't think my H agrees and may even feel I've been worse since starting treatment. Does anyone have thoughts on this? Sorry if it's been the same question over and over, but it when it pops up, I'm not quite sure where to go with it or how to handle it. Thank you for listening...