Quote:
Originally Posted by NowhereUSA
in your situation, no, i wouldn't change. i think circumstances and type of relationship make all the difference. my H rarely makes any demands on me and so if he felt uncomfortable with a doctor or even my t, i'd switch (and i have made that offer before with regards to my male t because my h once admitted to feeling a bit jealous but he recognized that having a t i connected to was important and he trusted me and the system).
however, it doesn't sound like your h would see this as proof you care. from just what i see here, it sounds like he would see it as proof that he can control you. in your situation i wouldn't change (tho i might consider switching to a t that has more time?).
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Part of me understands his insecurity because my pdoc is a male peer to my H, and I think that is threatening to him. If another man is encouraging me to be more independent and do or not do certain things, then that makes him upset.
But then the other part of me knows rationally that my doctor does not tell me what to do, ever. He gives an opinion and as a man, he gives a male point of view. But the only goal he has overall is to make sure I make the right decisions for my self and am able to function and take care of my children. I've told my H that this man has no personal interest in what happens in our marriage, so long as it is the right thing for me. But he doesn't "poison" my mind against my H the way he thinks my doctor has.
Granted the transference stuff I've written about did not help, but there is nothing beyond my writings in that regard. Is this common male thing - to feel insecure when a wife sees a male T or psychiatrist?