Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauliza
Part of me understands his insecurity because my pdoc is a male peer to my H, and I think that is threatening to him. If another man is encouraging me to be more independent and do or not do certain things, then that makes him upset.
But then the other part of me knows rationally that my doctor does not tell me what to do, ever. He gives an opinion and as a man, he gives a male point of view. But the only goal he has overall is to make sure I make the right decisions for my self and am able to function and take care of my children. I've told my H that this man has no personal interest in what happens in our marriage, so long as it is the right thing for me. But he doesn't "poison" my mind against my H the way he thinks my doctor has.
Granted the transference stuff I've written about did not help, but there is nothing beyond my writings in that regard. Is this common male thing - to feel insecure when a wife sees a male T or psychiatrist?
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i think some level of insecurity can crop up, but that's not something you personally can fix. that's something that he has to deal with. that's kind of why i shared the example of my husband. he knows and has met my t. he also recognizes that i talk to my t about things i may not share with him and, because i'm his wife, that triggers a bit of jealousy in him. however, he recognizes that nothing is going to happen and he appreciates that my t is always reminding me to be open.
i think i would feel similarly if he were seeing a female t. for us tho, we keep communication open and i strive to share with him things that go on in therapy because when therapy is over, my h is still going to be here.
you could quit seeing your pdoc, but i think my concern is that you'd be acquiescing to his insecurity and that will become his mode of dealing with things when he feels insecure about what you're doing. it troubles me that he considers the pdoc "poisoning" you to him. have you talked with your t about any of this?