Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
How much have you explored the barriers to a good sex life with H? Have you seen a sex therapist or a physician who specialiazes in sexual medicine? Have you done some reading about it? Is all sex painful or just PIV? I'm not sure I understand why your T or pdoc would feel that this wasn't worth pursuing further. Is your current agreement that you are both celibate?
I think having sex of whatever kind can go a long way in helping you feel connected and bonded enough that you have greater resilience as a couple in the face of normal tension, stress and disagreement. It would be high on my list of things to address.
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This is a good question, and until recently I didn't explore the reasons in depth behind it. The pain is so unbearable that it is almost torture, and only present with him. I always thought it was just either a problem with me physically or psychologically so I put up with it but didn't initiate sex much. But after finally seeing a specialist about the pain (it's been worse with age but always present) the conclusion is that it is physical and not due to stress or other things psychological.
There are options my GYN doctor and also therapist gave that may help, but I haven't brought them up as I'm frankly afraid of rejection. At this point he might not want to try anymore. Its not that he asks and I say no - I've never actually said "no". It's just a lack of connection/communication and neither one of us asking. It's sad, really.