I don't know how long it has been for you, but I had a similar experience. It took me 14 years to come to terms with the pain and accept that I would never be with him again. Today I can be in his presence (we have a child) and feel nothing. In fact, a couple of years ago we got a little tipsy and I tried to seduce him, but I didn't feel what I thought I would. That was when I knew I didn't need him.