I'm reading "Reinventing Your Life" by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko. I've read tons of stuff but this book is no-nonsense and makes a lot of sense to me; especially Chapter 17. Also "How People Change" by Allen Whellis is supposed to be very good. I just ordered it.

Remember to loosen the grip on yourself and apply kindness and patience. You're on the right track heading in the right direction. That's a very good start. Not many people are willing to do the work.

Changing our thought process is going to be a life-long effort. It's like your the sculpture, sculpting your own body/mind and life. We can't see what we are doing in the moment. Yet, you will look back after a while a see progress.

Learning to let go of pathological relationship will help also.