Hello BP,
You are not wasting anyone's time we are all here to try and help it each other through things. I don't believe I know your story but that does not really matter I just want you to know we do care. This is something possibly could help. Please read I have it posted in my craft room along with other things that seem to help sometimes. Anytime you would like to talk I am here to listen also you could send a PM if you want to...

CHAPTER 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But...is isn't my fault.

CHAPTER 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5
I walk down another street.

By: Portia Nelson

I have been on that same roller coaster and it is no fun when you feel you can't ever get off. Hold on