I think you can still FEEL judged - thats your ingrained habit, your way of dealing with people, how you learned to react in your family of origin - even though you know its not what she is doing. You break your habit by opening your eyes and talking to her and NOT feeling judged but feeling accepted, and letting that become your new experience of how it is to be in the world. Your foo may have been constantly judging you to see if you were "still" sick from being premature, looking for signs - that could have been unnerving and unsettling and unexplicably strange to you.