Its not dumb and dont be sorry. I also suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and have to cancel appointnents.
I also have vague memories of sexual abuse when i was 6. Also im convinced i was abused more often and by more peole one because my parents didnt look after us propely and we was always with ramdom people sleeping in thier houses and secondly a spoke to a psycic and he told me the abuse was ongoing. Even tho i dont rememer properly i am comvinced these things happened to me because some of my memories strongly suggest i was and the reoccuring nightmare of the man in the toilet with the light off with knife coming after me and memories of the man telling me if i tell he will kill my mum and dad.