That only seems to work if one's expectations are out of line in the first place....there are just certain things that need to be part of our expectations in our marriage & we shouldn't lower or change them....but if those expectations are something that no person could ever adhere to in the first place...then it would be appropriate to change.

If I hadn't had my engineering career for all those years to hide away in, I never would have been able to tolerate the things my H was doing. I don't think that staying together for the kids is very good because the dysfunctional families that we cause by living that way ends up hurting the kids just as bad if not worse than leaving & ending the marriage.

However, maybe marriage counseling together might be a good benefit....sounds like there are issues there just with ways of communication & not being thoughtful in that communication......so marriage counseling might be a better place to start & might be able to really make a difference.