Oh yes Mouse, what you're experiencing is part and parcel of the work we do in therapy. Lots of disillusionment, or rather recovering from years of disillusionment, and bit by bit the confusion gives way to a bit of clarity and a bit more..... Hold onto the wheel for safety; time with trusted friends, journaling, warm baths, deep breathing, whatever comforts you at this time.....things will fall into place soon....
Take gentle care,