I feel like I'm in a catch 22 now. LOL . I could describe myself in ways that make it obvious that I do have NPD, based on the criteria, what I've been told by other NPD's, and the 2 scholarly articles that are linked in this thread. But, I don't want to be a pwNPD... so, I'm not going to. I prefer to think of myself as an INTJ, who has NPD traits.(I might even have more BPD traits than NPD traits, I don't know...) I will say that I use people. I'm arrogant and self-aggrandizing, I exaggerate my own abilities, I have grandiose thoughts, I take advantage, I'm all about getting attention, etc. etc. etc.... I have all the traits of someone with NPD. But, I also have a lot of insight into my behaviors... I feel distress and embarrassment when I recall my behavior.
I've read a little about narcissistic supply. And it depresses me. I really don't want to think about it much.

I ended up in a psych ward because those around me got tired of my behaviors and let me know about it by playing the same mind games on me, that I had on them. I've suffered a lot of painful backlash from people that react to my behaviors.

I want to get better because it's painful to think about all this. .And I don't want to end up in a psych ward again. Even my desire to get better is selfish.

It helps me to think of the abuse I suffered as an innocent child as what helped make me the person I am today. Maybe there is a good core down there somewhere.... It's certainly worth exploring.

I have an idea of what happens to people when they define themselves by their NPD. It ain't pretty. But, perhaps Sam Vaknin is an exception.