See if you cannot creatively translate it into figurative ("art") instead of literally carrying around stuff? Find/buy an arrowhead with its scalloped/sharp edges to carry around? Do something "for" yourself to symbolically show yourself you are listening and caring. By a Sterling silver butter knife (they are small and dull) to carry around? Make a sculpture or other piece of art (collage?) about your fantasies and difficulties? Buy a red choker to wear? A special red turtle neck shirt?