Hello,

Things were on the mend, I have been active in helping with chores, starting to focus again on small tasks and feeling generally better.

Art Therapy is something I really want to make a career in, and signed up for many relational volunteer posts to apply for the master's programme.

You see, last year I thought that the social anxiety and panic aspects of my life were over, and that it was solely the depression aspect of this diagnosis, causing the way I feel.

Completely ignoring the fact that I have never really dealt with my social anxiety issues, I signed up to volunteering at a mental health group therapy organisation, and went yesterday.

It became apparent that I was not ready to fulfill the role, although it was not even hard, as soon as I got in there, panic ensued, all the horrible and uncomfortable feelings came back, and I did not say anything the whole time.

After the team leader spoke to me about it and said I could volunteer any time I wanted, but to come as a member to get some practice sitting with other people to help things along, whilst waiting for therapy.

I am tremendously upset and feel like a failure, before this revelation I had also fixed my sleeping pattern, and now I feel very depressed again and woke up late today, because that dark cloud is back, all my hard work feels undone up until this point.

I just don't know how to feel or what to do, i'm a failure.