Thanks for the support. The crying spells have not stopped. Last night I called my uncle in Detroit and told him I had just been sitting in my bath tub with a knife in my hands trying to decide how long it takes to bleed out and if there is any pain. He put me on a three way phone call to my younger sister and best friend. I kept crying all evening but they stayed on the phone with me. Looking back, what hurts the most was not how bad I felt, but the paing and confusion and helplessness my younger sister felt. I never want to hear that in her voice again. It's worse than my own pain. I don't want to put her through that again. EVER! They have kept calling me every day. My sister (who is a no-nonsense kind of person) wants me to give her my boss' phone number to give her a good talking to because she denied my on-month request to go back to Africa for a little R and R. My boss gave me 12 working days in October instead. My sister is ready to march to the American embassy and tell them she wants an emergency visa to come see me. I am trying to talk her out of that. She says if she does not get, she will hold the embassy personally responsible for me. (Ha ha ha ha.) Sisters never changes...her nickname as a child was "scorpion" Go figure.

Thanks for all the hugs I got. I feel loved right now. Jinnyan, mutley does make me laugh!