Hi Euphy,
I am not sure I understand how you feel. My relationship with my parents was complicated, as well. Certainly, I do not have children so I do not know how being a mother is. But I know what being a daughter is. And it can be very painful and complicated. There is a basic thing clear to me: I did not ask to be born. In that regard, there is a certain asymmetry that determines a kind of indelible link parents-child that cannot be avoided, and, in general, parents are obliged to their children (we can discuss the extent and if there should be reciprocity or not later). I mean, a parent cannot disown a child of her/his, whatever that means.
But I think a child can chose to erase the link to his/her parents, if this link is damaging him/her.
Are you in the position of cutting ties to your mom, as she is a toxic person? Sorry if my question is silly