I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I know it hurts, I've felt that way myself. My mother is dead and you know what, GOOD! If you feel like she is abusive and has ruined your life, she PROBABLY HAS!!!! I don't how you get over it, I'm 60 and really, I'll never forgive her, NEVER.
I have raised two daughters and they are the light of my life, something my mother could never have thought. So the good news here is that I KNEW I wasn't going to be a mother like her and I wasn't. Oh, and I was almost 29 when I had my first one. You have a long life ahead of you, you really do. If you can get some help with your mother issue, it may help, or it may not. You just need to realize this is YOUR life now and you have to find a way to live it happily and for yourself. Living in the past just doesn't help or change anything.
Oh and please don't be too hard on the people who didn't respond, most of the time I really don't know what to say to people. I know others must feel that way too.
Big hug and take care of yourself.