Type I relationship addicts are addicted to the concept of having a relationship and the reality of the person or persons is irrelevant. In Type I relationship addiction, the illusion itself is what provides the fix. For relationship addicts the fantasy or belief that they have a relationship is the mood-altering drug. The obsession is with a supposed relationship, not with a person.

In Type II relationship addiction, the person is addicted to a particular relationship with a particular person. Some Type II relationship addicts can be out of relationships for long periods of time and be quite comfortable yet immediately get hooked whenever they get into a relationship.

Carnes Addiction Cycle

For both types we see the following characteristics:

Preoccupation: an obsession with a relationship, which has a trancelike, mood-altering facet to it, and total absorption in the relationship.

Ritualization: engaging in behaviors that are related to "establishing a relationship" such as losing weight, becoming beautiful again with a new hairstyle, clothes, makeup, and so on. ritualized "courting" behavior may be included.

Compulsive relationship behavior: establishing a relationship as soon as possible, discussing and/or doing "marriage" , or in other ways nailing down the relationship and holding on to it for dear life (clinging). (See fear of abandonment.)

Despair: the awareness that the "fix" is not working and feeling hopeless and powerless related to that awareness.

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What is a normal relationship? Society and the media as well as movies seem to focus on what is abnormal. See 'Escape From Intimacy' by Anne Wilson Schaef, (c) 1989. How many functional families do you know of?

I will post something separately on Romance Addiction so as not to confuse the two, although they are often linked.