I am sorry for what you are going through. Greiving takes a long time and it will always be there. Give yourself time and allow the sadness to come. It is perfectly normal to feel all of this. I have had many losses in my life and I understand how hard this is. Maybe going in to see a grief counselor would benefit you right now; just to get through this next while. My mom has cancer and her doctors did not expect her to go into a remission. She is right now but has not been feeling that great. I think its more of the stress for her but that thought is always in the back of my mind. I will pray for you and your family. My thoughts are with you. Keep talking here and I think it will help.

Take care;
itsjustme