Clara & flours - all of my life i have been alone. my brother is 6-1/2yrs older than me and tho a great influence, he was past most of my problems when i had them. my mom had, i would guess, BPD - my dad was a very introverted man who dealt w/ my mom's outbursts w/ silence. we lived on the edge of a protestant town and my mom, you guessed, was catholic. everyone went to the public HS - i didn't.
i was never pretty, nor athletic, so-so in school, have linguistic problems, am shy and introverted. i'm 60 now, never married, live alone w/ a 20yo cat (which died last wk BTW). - - - BUT - i'm my own person.
you all are still worried, bothered and troubled by 'people' - when 'people' are tiny little nothings in the vastness of the world and the universe.
so - jimmy boy or heidi girl don't like you or music is loud or there are a lot of fruit flys - so what! you all sound like you still believe your feelings/emotions/what you think/believe matter. you're ego-centric. (it's not a fault, just an observation).
i did only one fantastic thing in my life - i drove cross-country and flew to Australia alone for 3 months. you get a perspective you can't get by staying inside thinking about things. it took me over a yr to plan - and i was robbed of my passport in mid-trip. you have to do things to overcome the aloneness, the depression, the anxiety, the futility of life. & if you still wind up alone - at least you are true to yourself. the earth is just a freakin' tiny little speck and humans are but speck on a speck. to keep thinking of me, my feelings, my wants - what!? - who cares - really? - except you, yourself? - - - you MUST with all of your strength from all of your weakness - STEP OUTSIDE YOURSELF - it is the only way to overcome.
repair the ego damage from whatever source. depression