I'm not even mad at my family anymore, I'm disappointed. I'm just really disappointed.

I don't know why the heck I can't just let go of the freaking past and just move forward. It SOUNDS easy enough, doesn't it? Just GET OVER IT and move on!!! Right? NOOO, I try but I can't. I'm like that little old lady who's fallen and can't get up but I don't have a bracelet that alerts the paramedics and I'm STUCK there just cursing like a sailor and wailing like a baby.

Mom's Favorite daughter called me today. She's called me before but I never called her back. She's now called me again and the guilt is kicking in. She sounds so loveable on the phone, told me she wanted to talk to me and she loved me ... But I know better. Yes, I know. That's just her bait. Be strong. She's a parana. A shark... Jaws! Stay away from the phone! Have another Smirnoff green apple. (Yum!)

I'll be okay. I'm going to be fine. If I say this enough maybe it will come true. Maybe someone will here me, see that I'm crazy and put me into the looney bin. That might be a good thing but my dogs would have to come with me. Okay, I'm going to get another green apple.