Quote:
Originally Posted by Orbit26
For so long, I've felt alone, with no one to share these things with. Once, in person, I told someone my problems with binging, and they shot me down and told me to get over myself-- since then, I've felt discomfort when prompted to speak to anyone over it.
Whenever I feel bad, or often even without prompt, I will find myself eating obscene quantities of food. Always, I end up to the point where my stomach is in pure pain, and I am forced to purge it all out. Even afterwards, there is a linger of physical pain, as well as this heavy sense of guilt, emptiness, and loneliness.
Thank you all for reading.
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Out of all my ' things' (addictions and SI) binge and Purge (I suppose bad enough to be called bulimia tho I disputed that with my T a little) is ultimately the very hardest for me. Maybe because we need food... We don't need all the other crap. But we need food. And I have such a hate on for food until I feel like I NEED it and then, wow. It's awful. I started seeing a new trauma therapist and tho she is not addressing the eating thing too much, she did say 'so what did other therapists say about the ED? They usually don't know how to handle it'. and it's kinda true. I'm having a hard time getting a grip on it. Wish I had better advice or anything to offer... But I guess I don't. Except I know the struggle with the stupid disorder. I joined a gym recently- that has helped and made me focus on wanting to make better choices I guess...