Hello again, BeteNoire. You can start by changing your name. It is a constant reminder of what you think of yourself. The negativity is not warranted.

15 Common Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central
Fixing Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Negative Self Talk: Top 10 Things NOT to Say to Yourself | NLP Discoveries
Speaking Kindly to Ourselves
25 More Statements for Speaking Kindly to Ourselves | Weightless

You must have had a very difficult childhood.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/survi...%3B-crime.html

I wish you well.