I just don't know what to do with myself. It's like I'm in a daze. I still can't believe he would actually do something like this to me. I love him so much but I hate him so much. He has apologized so many times. I do believe that he knows he messed up big time, and I don't think he'll ever do it again. But that doesn't stop my hurt right now. We both are going to be checked out for diseases. I think that's one of the most important things I can do right now.

Just when thing were starting to look up for me I get slammed with this. He said he feels like a low life piece of crap. And I think he should. I just have to keep telling myself that I am strong and I can get through this with the support from you all.