Clara,
you found so kind words to respond to fluffbuster's second post. thank you for that. I don't think I can say anything better than that.
I actually read it last night before I wanted to go to sleep and it kept me awake for three more hours. I wrote a reply but chose not to post it. I thought that was a good idea when I saw what you have written.

but I want to say thank you for all of the other helpful things everybody wrote. it is really comforting.
I think the idea was genius to say I have the stomach flu. however I cannot lie very well.

yeah, I would like that a lot better and even enjoy.

fluffbuster,
your advice in your first post was actually helpful even if my problem is not a general social problem with my family. I still enjoyed reading it.

I talked to my mother alone and said that it was too much for me. and I gave her some information about depression.
she said she doesn't know what is good for me but I can tell them and it's okay if I don't want to be with people all the time. and we agreed that I can do some things in the house like cleaning while everybody is gone, which I offered because I can do that alone and it's not bothering me. so I have an official job which everybody respects and I don't need to do things that are overtaxing.

what seems most difficult for me is the contradiction of my own wish to be with my family and doing what is good for me. I have been so lonely all the time before and wishing for some loving people around. so I felt horrible to spoil it. but I think the arrangement we found is okay. it's not all that calm as it is in my own house but instead I have my family. I will try to enjoy the coming days until I leave.
we'll see if it works.