Am I destined to just grow old, alone, trusting no one and being a miserable grouch for it... I'd rather be dead than that.

Flip side, that is the negativity speaking

To give to others irrespective of knowing I myself am alone is a purpose. To seriously look into helping others with MH difficulties seems a just and right thing to do... Suffering is horrible and I want to reduce that state for others... Perhaps, just perhaps that in turn will make my own existence that bit more bearable.