"As far as this quote "Persistent distorted blame of self or others for causing the traumatic event or for resulting consequences." - I took this to mean that sometimes the victims blame themselves for being molested or sexually abused as children.. and that is clearly distorted thinking. No one would blame the child, but, sometimes the victims do blame themselves. " quote shakespheare

Yes, self blame can be significant.

While I did have big challenges in my childhood, I was loved and experienced "empathy".
I can see how if that was absent, it could definitely challenge development of understanding "empathy".

In my situation I saw my older brother bullied/abused/punished for something he could not help. I believe he suffered from "compulsive ADHD" and it was very hard for him to sit still and listen and my parents were told by a psychiatrist to not "coddle him" at all but to enforce a lot of "discipline" instead. That "discipline" got out of control because it only made him worse. My mother would pace the floors uttering, "This is wrong a mother is supposed to cuddle and love her child", her instincts were correct, the advice given at the time was "very wrong and damaging".

I was my brothers only "friend" it was horrible to witness how badly he was consistantly treated "on the bus, in school, and at home". While I was his "only" friend who showed him caring and empathy, it was dangerous for me as he would get so much abuse that he would "rage" and then I had to run and "hide". I never told because I felt it would put him over the edge and the punishment would only get worse. It was so bad my brother was a major bet wetter and he was so stressed he would suck his thumb feverishly all night long making his lips swell and blister and bleed. The children on the bus called him
"big lips", oh it was so horrible.

I have always had a lot of empathy for others who struggle, a deep desire to "help" and even a deep desire to figure out the puzzle of "whys" behind behavior problems. After literally "years" of abuse my parents finally found an amazing older woman to tutor him and that "understanding woman" changed him and had a tremendous positive affect on him. That further inspired me tbh. I never labeled people with NPD tbh, I didn't think about it that way at all. It just got so I would learn about certain people who no matter how nice, empathetic or caring I was, the person would only "use me or manipulate me" in some way with not a care at all.

My older brother learned "empathy" from me and he became a very "loving" father because of it, however, I don't think he every connected "why" he "could" and "how" he came to understand "empathy".

"I also love to be the center of attention, and tend to take control of conversations, if people will let me. " quote shakespheare

My husband is like this all the time. However, that is part of his "compulsive ADHD", he talks over, intrudes, interrupts and can be loud. It has been very hard to live with him with this PTSD that creates extreme "sensitivity".

What has been so bazaar to me it how I have dealt with this "disorder/disability" pretty much "all my life".

I find that what many do not seem to understand is that "narcissim" is something we all have to have to thrive. One "can" examine anyone and see some "narcissitic traits". When someone presents with PTSD, they become very "self absorbed" and can seem to be "Narcissists", however, PTSD is so incredibly consuming that it is very different than
NPD that stems from other personal histories where "empathy" was not learned and developed.

quoted from other information: "responds empathically to the needs and concerns of others, despitetheir own injury. That is and has always been "me".

If someone were to consider my own input here at PC from when I joined? What would be observed is a lot of "input" and posting and yes, even helping others a lot. That could be "misunderstood" for being narcissistic or even needing to take over to be the center of attention right? Well, that would be truly the wrong way to look at it because of how I was trying so hard to get my executive frontal lobe to function better. I would sit at the key board battling so much anxiety and trying to slow down and concentrate with "read, think, reply" and use my frontal lobe and much of what I wrote was long and "racing" and at times "repetitive". It was the "only" outlet I had where I could work on that challenge too. And part of the need to explain in depth was because of the "years" of living with a person who "didn't listen, talked over me, interrupted me, and hurry up say it because I have to move now" which is the "compulsive" element of ADHD.

I think that "before" making a conclusion about "NPD" it is extremely important to consider someones "history" and understand their environment too.

I think it is "great" that you made the decision to figure out where you could make changes as you have "challenges". I think that how you are learning "more" about yourself and have access to a therapist that can be "empathetic" is very good too.
Yes, a NPD label has a very "negative" stima in society. In "reality" it is a lot more "complex" than the average person realizes too. Unfortunately, there are many who can see someone who struggles and just decide to label that person with NPD too, when the reality of that persons "psychological challenges" doesn't have anything to do with NPD.
Last I have heard, the diagnoses of NPD may even be taken out of the DSM manual, and instead these "traits" be broken down into other catagories.

OE