There have been some excellent and helpful posts in this thread. I want to add a few things.

No church is going to solve your problems, although fellowship and teaching are very important. Your personal relationship with God, is just that; personal. Talk to Him just as you would your closest friend. Indeed, He is your closest friend. When everyone runs away, He always, always stays.

Sometimes you can't hear Him or feel His presence, but that means we are upset and not listening. That is where the faith comes into play. Even if you can't feel God's presence, know in your very heart of hearts that He and His angels are there with you, watching over you and loving you.

Know also that God doesn't make bad things happen to you. Mankind was given the gift of free will. Men and woman choose whether to do good or bad things. However, God can take a bad situation and make it better. Tell Him what you need and ask for His help and guidence. It will get better.

Hugs,

Jan