Really miss my husband. Next week he will be dead two years. Middle age. I was run down by a car four years ago/hit and rub. Disabled. No kids . I am not really feeling sorry for myself because I know a lot of people have it much worse than I. It is just so hard to be a disabled widow in middle age when all you peers have jobs and families. It is hard to make friends in midlife, especially if you are not mobile. I have been told I'm a nice person. I act in front of people so as not to be a "Debbie Downer". But I am sick of acting. They say fake it till you make it, But faking happiness or cheerfulness makes me feel so much more alone.