Thanks Secret and Sidony. It was intense or at least as intense as I am able to be with him. The last thing I want is for him to say 'okay thanks now we're done here'...

I'm already hurting more than he is right now. I feel terrible that I made him feel bad.

He looked confused, so while it was helpful to have today's session, my intention was to get some sort of relief from the pain but I think I inflicted it instead.

I wonder if part of me wanted to make him hurt like I've been? Well it hurt me more now that I am reflecting on it.

I don't see him again until next Tuesday at 6:15. It's going to be a long week all! I will make every attempt to not obsess about this. I promise...