The "hole" is never receiving "unconditional love" which is what a good nurturing mother and father are supposed to provide. When this doesn't take place the child tries to find it other ways, not their fault, and because the child never had it, they always feel "afraid" any time something that looks like it might fail them like their parent or parents did.

Unfortunately, this has become a rather large problem in today's society. For some time now there has been a trend in "throw away marriages" therefore, many children just don't know "how" to have long lasting relationships. This has been further compromised with how in many cases both parents work and children grow up in day cares and never really enjoy the bonds of a parent's "unconditional love around them everyday", no, instead they are dropped off somewhere to fend for themselves in groups of children under the care of individuals that are "stangers" that are just following a structure to earn an income.

Truly good "nurturers" were never appreciated by our society, to answer "what do you do" by "I am a stay home mother" doesn't get the kind of valued "respect" that it should as being the CEO to a future generation. Our country would save a lot of money by educating and promoting "stay at home mothers and nurturers". But not stay at home mothers who just sit the child in front of the TV all day as a babysitter.

There is nothing wrong with women having careers, but the career that must come first if a child is present is "parenting". When an adult needs to be "the center of attention all the time", it means that adult needed something early on that was never provided.

I wish that women were properly educated about the significance of parenting, and men who have children should also be educated too. Having a child is a big deal, an important commitment for our society overall, it is high time people be educated about this instead of "just" having a child because that seems to be "what comes next".

It is not your fault that you "have unmet needs", yes, it is about needing "unconditional love".

OE