A pretty dull day today. I woke up feeling very depressed and then I felt worse when my sister called this morning. She was talking about my brother, who had been diagnosed with lung cancer, along with COPD and sleep apnea. And only having six months to live. She was telling me that she feels very sad. So do I, even though he and I were not very close. And then she said that she thinks that my parents (both deceased) will be surprised to see him in Heaven. That upset me because I personally feel that my parents are not in heaven. I thought that they were not good parents and ruined my brother by being abusive to him. But that's all in the past and it's not my call of who goes to Heaven or not. It's God's.

My only friend came over to see me today, so that was the best part of the day. I thought that he wouldn't come. He's pretty old and can't drive. He would have preferred to come and see me to get away from home. But he decided to come and did so by public transportation. At least public transit is pretty good where I am. I have gone to his place, but I'm not crazy about going there and not too crazy about his wife.

It has rained all day where I am and that's very unusual. Right now I feel depressed because I was looking forward to go bike riding. My sister called me back minutes ago and told me that she spoke to my brother and he sounded pretty good. So that was a bit uplifting to me.